Living in the days of Jacob(son of Isaac) must have been very funny. They had traditions that just wouldn’t have worked in our time, especially as regards marriage.
“Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.” Genesis 29:11
At least, “kissing” as an act of greeting still made some sense, but sleeping with a woman(her face covered up; in essence you simply can’t say who she really is) isn’t really a nice idea. That was the tradition as regards marriage in the family of Mr. Laban.
” And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.” Genesis 29:22-23 KJV
How was Jacob suppose to know that Leah was the woman on the bed,not Rachel? He was probably drunk after the feast his father-in-law organised…only God knows?
All the while, Jacob had related with Rachel in love and sexual purity, he had never slept with her and therefore, couldn’t have known what her skin felt like- he just went in and slept with the woman he found on the bed.
Jacob woke up the next day(after sleeping with Leah), and just couldn’t believe his eyes. “What are you doing on my marital bed”, he must have asked….”how did you get in”. Still sitting in bed, she replied “Is anything the problem honey? Everything was wrong!
Jacob’s situation, unlike what we see in our world today- where a guy meets a lady,and that same night they end up in bed together,was quite decent and godly. He was a man that feared God, somehow he knew that pre-marital sex wasn’t God’s desire/will for his people(regardless of how close the wedding date is or how deeply in love they are with each other) but while Jacob was in courtship with Rachel he didn’t do his home work; obviously he forgot to do some background checkup on his wife to be hence,lacked vital information about her and her people’s tradition/custom.
‘Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one.” ‘Genesis29:26
The period of courtship is actually a time for discovery, not for making love. It’s a time for building and sustaining friendship, getting to know our intending spouse, guided in reality and not assumptions. It’s not a time to build sexual intimacy as it’s being eronously displayed in our world today. In his book, “boy meets girl”, Joshua harris pointed out the fact that courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman who are actively and intentionally together to consider marriage. He went on to say that “before a heart or body involvement, there is need to take time getting to know each other’s mind and character.”
Sex is not a proof of love, neither is it what an unmarried man and woman should be having. God created sex for the married not for the unmarried, it was designed to build intimacy between husbands and wives, and not as a compatiblity testing adventure for the unmarried…in fact, it is the wrongest test for compatibility!
Many young folks(and even couples) have found themselves in Jacob’s shoes, they suddenly wake up wondering where on earth they met the person they had slept with. That’s because, they choose to make the bed their central stage for discovery, and all they probably ever discovered was how sexually active the person is; that’s the best that can come out of such research, an information that can’t sustain a godly long term relationship. My dear, you aren’t a cheap piece of trash and you shouldn’t allow any impatient fellow(who claims to be in love with you) to lead you into fornication.
WARNING! WHILE YOU ARE YET UNMARRIED, STAY OFF THE BED. IT’S THE WRONGEST PLACE FOR DISCOVERY!!!
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